A Gloomy Gaggle of Killjoy Jobsworths…BrewDog responds in fine style to its Dead Pony Club beer being banned by the drinks censors of the Portman Group

Posted: 8 May, 2014 in UK News
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Read more UK News at MelonFarmers.co.uk

dead pony club Self appointed alcoholic drinks censors at thePortman Group have bannedBrewDog’s Dead Pony Club 3.8% ale. The censor writes:

The packaging of Dead Pony Club, a pale ale produced by BrewDog, has broken alcohol marketing rules for encouraging both anti-social behaviour and rapid drinking.

The Independent Complaints Panel (ICP) considered the product after Dead Pony Club’s packaging was identified as being in potential breach of the Code for its association with bravado and immoderate consumption, and for placing undue emphasis on the strength and intoxicating effect of the alcohol in the product. The producer did not make representations to the Panel.

The Panel considered the overall impression conveyed by the product, the strength of the beer (Alc 3.8% Vol), as well as the text on the back label.

Whilst acknowledging that the beer was of a lower-than-average strength and that one bottle was well within the recommended daily unit guidelines, the ICP concluded the line on the label, rip it up down empty streets , associated the product with anti-social behaviour.

The ICP also concluded that the product did not promote immoderate consumption. However, it did rule that the phrases drink fast, live fast and we believe faster is better could encourage the consumer to drink the product rapidly. Consequently, the product was found by the Panel to be in breach of Code paragraphs 3.2 (b) and (g).

A Retailer Alert Bulletin has been issued instructing licensees and retailers not to place orders for stocks of Dead Pony Club in its current packaging after 8 July 2014.

BrewDog responded to the ‘gloomy gaggle of killjoy jobsworths’ of the Portman Group in fine style:

On behalf of BrewDog PLC and its 14,691 individual shareholders, I would like to issue a formal apology to the Portman Group for not giving a shit about today’s ruling. Indeed, we are sorry for never giving a shit about anything the Portman Group has to say, and treating all of its statements with callous indifference and nonchalance.

Unfortunately, the Portman Group is a gloomy gaggle of killjoy jobsworths, funded by navel-gazing international drinks giants. Their raison d’etre is to provide a diversion for the true evils of this industry, perpetrated by the gigantic faceless brands that pay their wages. Blinkered by this soulless mission, they treat beer drinkers like brain dead zombies and vilify creativity and competition. Therefore, we have never given a second thought to any of the grubby newspeak they disseminate periodically.

While the Portman Group lives out its days deliberating whether a joke on a bottle of beer is responsible or irresponsible use of humour, at BrewDog we will just get on with brewing awesome beer and treating our customers like adults. I’m sure that makes Henry Ashworth cry a salty tear into his shatterproof tankard of Directors as he tries to enforce his futile and toothless little marketing code, but we couldn’t give a shit about that, either.

The Portman Group took objection to the phrase rip it up down empty streets ? Mr Portman, you seem to like taking things literally. Can you please explain how something can be anti-social if the streets are empty? Anti-social is defined as contrary to the laws and customs of society, in a way that causes annoyance and disapproval in others. If the streets are empty, there are no others to annoy.

As for not agreeing with we believe faster is better , well I think the archaic existence of the Portman Group proves just how bad slow can really be. Maybe they should try and catch up with the rest of the world instead of insulting the intelligence of consumers with such a thin veneer of impartiality. It is an embarrassing condemnation of the mega brewers who provide their funding, the same mega brewers whose pricing wreaks havoc on society.

Mr Portman, we’d be appreciative if you could now kindly save some trees and stop sending us meaningless letters.

We sincerely hope that the sarcasm of this message fits the Portman Group criteria of responsible use of humour.


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